Author Guide · Psychology and Self-Help
Books Written by
Before she became a therapist, Susan Forward was an actress who appeared in television series such as Perry Mason, Bonanza and The Twilight Zone. She gave it up at 28, studied psychiatric social work at the University of Southern California, and spent decades in private practice and in Southern California hospitals, where she founded what her publisher calls the first private sexual abuse treatment centre in the state. Her second book, Men Who Hate Women and the Women Who Love Them (1986), spent 40 weeks on The New York Times bestseller list; Toxic Parents (1989) put a phrase into everyday language. Each book takes one painful relationship — with a partner, a parent, money, a mother-in-law — and walks through it with case histories. This guide covers her nine key books, in order, and where to begin.
By Lisanne Swart · 9 key books · 1978–2013 · Updated October 2026
ClickTap a spine to jump to that book below.
Quick answer
Susan Forward wrote nine books between 1978 and 2013. The best known are Toxic Parents (1989), Men Who Hate Women and the Women Who Love Them (1986) and Emotional Blackmail (1997). Start with Toxic Parents; below you will find what each book covers, the co-writers she worked with, and the 1995 case that led to the suspension of her licence.
Where to Start with Susan Forward
If you want her defining book
→ Toxic Parents (1989) — parents who hurt their children, and what adult children can do about it.
If you want to understand a controlling partner
→ Men Who Hate Women and the Women Who Love Them (1986) — the 1986 bestseller that made her name.
If you want to recognise manipulation by fear, obligation and guilt
→ Emotional Blackmail (1997).
If you want a book about difficult mothers
→ Mothers Who Can’t Love (2013) — her last book, written for daughters.
9 Susan Forward Books, in Order
Betrayal of Innocence
Her first book, written with Craig Buck and published by J.P. Tarcher, is about incest and its long-term effects on victims and families. It grew out of her clinical work with survivors of sexual abuse, a field in which she founded a private treatment centre in California.
Men Who Hate Women and the Women Who Love Them
Written with Joan Torres, the book is about women whose partners control, belittle and blame them. It uses a checklist of warning signs — control, jealousy, sudden shifts of mood, being blamed for everything — and case histories of both men and women. It was a number-one New York Times bestseller and stayed on the list for 40 weeks; NBC built a two-hour special around it in 1994.
Toxic Parents
Written with Craig Buck, the book describes parents whose behaviour damages their children, from the controlling and the inadequate to the alcoholic and the verbally, physically and sexually abusive. The second half is practical: how adult children can stop blaming themselves, set limits and, if they choose, confront their parents. It was a number-one New York Times bestseller, and its title became a common phrase.
Obsessive Love
Her third book with Craig Buck is about people who cannot let go of a partner who has rejected them, and about the people on the receiving end of that pursuit. Later editions carry the subtitle When It Hurts Too Much to Let Go.
Money Demons
Written with Craig Buck, the book looks at the beliefs about money that people carry from childhood, and how those beliefs can damage relationships and life choices.
Emotional Blackmail
Written with Donna Frazier, the book names the tools of manipulation FOG: fear, obligation and guilt. Forward describes four kinds of blackmailer — punishers, self-punishers, sufferers and tantalizers — and six steps that repeat: demand, resistance, pressure, threats, compliance and repetition. Publishers Weekly praised its practical skills and compassionate tone.
When Your Lover Is a Liar
Written with Donna Frazier, this book is about partners who lie, and how the person who was deceived or betrayed can recover and decide what to do next.
Toxic In-Laws
Written with Donna Frazier, the book turns the Toxic Parents approach on the extended family: in-laws who criticise, control or interfere, and strategies a couple can use to protect their marriage.
Mothers Who Can’t Love
Her last book, written with Donna Frazier and published by Harper, is about mothers who are unloving towards their daughters. Drawing on more than 35 years of clinical work, it describes how this can leave daughters with anxiety, depression, trust problems and doubts about their own worth, and offers exercises for acting in their own interest.
In What Order to Read Susan Forward
None of her books depends on another, so read the one that matches the relationship you are dealing with. Each follows the same pattern: case histories from her practice first, then exercises, scripts and steps for changing the pattern.
If you read more than one, Toxic Parents makes a good base, because the later books on in-laws and mothers build on its ideas. Men Who Hate Women and Emotional Blackmail pair well, the first on a controlling partner, the second on manipulation by anyone close to you.
A reading path
1. Toxic Parents (1989)
2. Men Who Hate Women and the Women Who Love Them (1986)
3. Emotional Blackmail (1997)
4. Mothers Who Can’t Love (2013)
The years · 1978–2020
Quick facts about Susan Forward
- Known for
- Naming harmful patterns in close relationships — toxic parents, controlling partners, emotional blackmail — in books that combine case histories with practical steps.
- 1978
- Betrayal of Innocence, her first book
- 1989
- Toxic Parents
- 2020
- Dies
- Earlier career
- Television actress, in series including Perry Mason, Bonanza and The Twilight Zone; she stopped acting at 28
- Education
- Theatre arts at UCLA; master’s in psychiatric social work and PhD in psychology at the University of Southern California
- Practice
- Licensed clinical social worker in private practice; therapist and consultant at Southern California psychiatric and medical facilities
- Radio
- Host of a nationally syndicated programme on ABC Talk Radio
- Bestsellers
- Men Who Hate Women and the Women Who Love Them and Toxic Parents, both number one on The New York Times list
- Died
- 2020
The red mark is 1989: Toxic Parents, the book that made her name a byword for difficult families.
How Susan Forward Writes: Case Histories and Practical Steps
Her books are built from her practice. Each chapter opens with a client — Toxic Parents begins with Gordon, a 38-year-old orthopaedic surgeon whose wife threatens to leave him after six years over his temper — and moves from the story to the pattern behind it.
She names patterns so readers can recognise them: the checklist of a controlling partner in Men Who Hate Women, the categories of toxic parent, and in Emotional Blackmail the acronym FOG, four types of blackmailer and six steps. Her central argument is about responsibility: parents and partners are accountable for what they did, and the reader is responsible for what they do about it now.
Almost every book was written with a professional co-writer — Craig Buck for the first books, Joan Torres for Men Who Hate Women, Donna Frazier from Emotional Blackmail on — which gives the series its plain, direct voice. The second half of each book is a workbook: letters to write, scripts to rehearse, limits to set.
Listen
Susan Forward on Emotional Blackmail
Susan Forward talks about recognising and resisting emotional blackmail and manipulation on episode 55 of the Relationship Alive! podcast, released on 7 September 2016. From the official Relationship Alive! podcast feed.
Frequently asked questions about Susan Forward’s books
How many books has Susan Forward written?
Nine, published between 1978 and 2013, all listed on this page: from Betrayal of Innocence (1978) to Mothers Who Can’t Love (2013). Each was written with a co-writer.
What are Susan Forward’s books in order?
Betrayal of Innocence (1978), Men Who Hate Women and the Women Who Love Them (1986), Toxic Parents (1989), Obsessive Love (1991), Money Demons (1994), Emotional Blackmail (1997), When Your Lover Is a Liar (1999), Toxic In-Laws (2001) and Mothers Who Can’t Love (2013).
Where should I start with Susan Forward?
With Toxic Parents (1989), her best-known book, unless a specific relationship brought you here: Men Who Hate Women for a controlling partner, Emotional Blackmail for manipulation, Mothers Who Can’t Love for a difficult mother.
What is Susan Forward’s most famous book?
Toxic Parents (1989), written with Craig Buck, a number-one New York Times bestseller. Men Who Hate Women and the Women Who Love Them (1986) was also a number-one bestseller and spent 40 weeks on the list.
What is Toxic Parents about?
Parents whose behaviour harms their children — controlling, inadequate, alcoholic, verbally, physically or sexually abusive — and what adult children can do about it: stop blaming themselves, set limits and, if they choose, confront their parents.
What does FOG mean in Emotional Blackmail?
Fear, obligation and guilt, the three pressures Forward says emotional blackmailers use. The 1997 book, written with Donna Frazier, describes four types of blackmailer: punishers, self-punishers, sufferers and tantalizers.
Is Susan Forward still alive?
No. She died in 2020, according to her publisher, Penguin Random House, and Psychology Today.
Were any of Susan Forward’s books adapted?
Men Who Hate Women and the Women Who Love Them became a two-hour NBC special in 1994, which Forward hosted. She also appeared on talk shows such as Oprah and The Today Show.
Why was Susan Forward’s licence suspended?
Nicole Brown Simpson saw Forward for two sessions in 1992. After Brown Simpson’s murder in 1994, Forward said on television that she believed her client had been abused. California’s Board of Behavioral Science Examiners said this breached confidentiality, and in 1995 she agreed to a three-month suspension and three years’ probation. The board also objected that she had been presented as a psychologist; she was licensed as a clinical social worker. She denied wrongdoing.
Who co-wrote Susan Forward’s books?
Craig Buck (Betrayal of Innocence, Toxic Parents, Obsessive Love, Money Demons), Joan Torres (Men Who Hate Women) and Donna Frazier (Emotional Blackmail and the three books after it).
Footnotes
- Susan Forward — Wikipedia
- Susan Forward — Penguin Random House
- Susan Forward, Ph.D. — Psychology Today
- Emotional Blackmail — Publishers Weekly review
- Therapist gets suspension for talking of Nicole — Deseret News, 1995
Bibliography last verified 9 October 2026. Where sources give different first-publication years, this page uses the year in library catalogues or the publisher’s own record.
This list was not put together by a machine.
The notes are all mine,
and the books are all his.
Lisanne x
Written by Lisanne Swart, who has curated reading lists and author guides at lisanneswart.com since 2021.
See more on her personal bookshelf.
“Loving behavior doesn’t grind you down, keep you off balance, or create feelings of self-hatred.”
— Susan Forward, Toxic Parents (1989)
If this shelf interested you, the full bookshelf has more: reading lists by theme, author guides, and notes on what is actually worth your time.
Browse the full bookshelf Get book recommendations