Author Guide · Psychotherapy & Relationships
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In 1985 Philippa Perry trained as a volunteer for the Samaritans, the charity that answers calls from people in distress. She went on to train as a psychotherapist and worked in mental health for about twenty years, ten of them in private practice, before she published anything. Born in Warrington in 1957, she had already been a litigation clerk, an enquiry agent and a McDonald’s employee, and later took a Fine Art degree as a mature student. Her books take what happens in the therapy room to readers who have never been in one: a graphic novel about a single course of therapy, a short guide to staying sane, a parenting book that has sold more than 1.3 million copies, and in 2026 a crime novel narrated by a therapist. This guide covers her five key books, in order, and where to begin.
By Lisanne Swart · 5 key books · 2010–2026 · Updated October 2026
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Quick answer
Philippa Perry has written five books: Couch Fiction (2010), How to Stay Sane (2012), The Book You Wish Your Parents Had Read (2019), The Book You Want Everyone You Love to Read (2023) and the crime novel Shrink Solves Murder (2026). Start with The Book You Wish Your Parents Had Read, her best-known book; the guide below shows what each of the others adds.
Where to Start with Philippa Perry
If you want her best-known book
→ The Book You Wish Your Parents Had Read (2019) — parenting, and your own childhood.
If you want to see what therapy is actually like
→ Couch Fiction (2010) — a graphic novel of one client’s sessions.
If you want something short on your own mental health
→ How to Stay Sane (2012).
If you want her ideas applied to every relationship
→ The Book You Want Everyone You Love to Read (2023) — partners, friends, family and work.
5 Philippa Perry Books, in Order
Couch Fiction
A graphic novel, drawn by Junko Graat, that follows a course of therapy between Pat, a sandal-wearing, cat-loving psychotherapist, and James, an ambitious barrister with a compulsive habit he cannot stop. Perry’s footnotes run alongside the panels and explain what the therapist is doing and why. The analyst Andrew Samuels wrote the afterword.
How to Stay Sane
A title in The School of Life’s self-help series, edited by Alain de Botton. Perry sets out four areas in which people who stay sane have learned to change: self-observation, relating to others, dealing with stress, and the stories they tell about themselves. Each has its own chapter, with exercises and suggestions for further reading.
The Book You Wish Your Parents Had Read
A book about the relationship between parents and children rather than a set of rules. Perry argues that all behaviour is communication, that children need help with their feelings before they can soothe themselves, and that parents should look at their own upbringing so as not to repeat it; mistakes matter less than repairing them. It was an instant Sunday Times bestseller, and the publisher reports more than 1.3 million copies sold worldwide.
The Book You Want Everyone You Love to Read
Perry widens the focus from parents and children to every relationship: partners, family, friends, colleagues and the self. The book takes questions such as how to find and keep love, how to stop arguments becoming painful, how to cope with change and loss, and whether other people are the problem or you are. It was published by Cornerstone in October 2023 and became a Sunday Times bestseller.
Shrink Solves Murder
Her first novel. A body washes up near Beachy Head on the Sussex coast, and the police call it suicide. Pat Phillips, a local psychotherapist, knows the dead man, Henry Clayton, as her three o’clock client, and does not believe he killed himself. With her best friend she sets out to find a killer hiding among the villagers.
In What Order to Read Philippa Perry
The four non-fiction books stand alone, so you can start with whichever matches your question. They do build on each other, though: Couch Fiction shows the therapy room, How to Stay Sane turns it into a short method for yourself, and the two “Book You” titles apply the same ideas to children and then to every other relationship.
Shrink Solves Murder is a novel and needs none of the others, but readers of Couch Fiction will notice that both books are built around a therapist called Pat and one of her clients.
A reading path
1. The Book You Wish Your Parents Had Read (2019)
2. The Book You Want Everyone You Love to Read (2023)
3. How to Stay Sane (2012)
4. Couch Fiction (2010)
5. Shrink Solves Murder (2026)
The years · 1957–2026
Quick facts about Philippa Perry
- Known for
- Philippa Perry is known for translating psychotherapy for a general audience, above all in her writing on how parents and children relate.
- 1957
- Born in Warrington, Cheshire
- 1985
- Trains with the Samaritans, then as a psychotherapist
- 2026
- First novel, Shrink Solves Murder
- Born
- 1 November 1957, Warrington, Cheshire
- Education
- Fine Art degree, Middlesex Polytechnic, as a mature student
- Profession
- Psychotherapist; trained after volunteering with the Samaritans from 1985
- Columns
- Agony aunt for Red magazine from 2013 and for The Observer until 2025
- Television
- Co-presenter of Grayson’s Art Club (Channel 4, from 2020)
- Family
- Married to the artist Grayson Perry; their daughter Flo was born in 1992
- Honours
- Honorary doctorate, Middlesex University (2023)
The red mark is 2019: The Book You Wish Your Parents Had Read, her best-known book.
How Philippa Perry Writes: Therapy on the Page
Perry writes from the therapy room outwards. Her first book is a single case drawn as a comic, with footnotes explaining each move the therapist makes, and the later books keep that habit of showing a concrete exchange first and naming the idea behind it second. Her influences are the attachment and object-relations clinicians: the New Statesman review of her parenting book names John Bowlby, Donald Winnicott and Joan Raphael-Leff.
She gives her ideas short, memorable names, such as “all behaviour is communication”, “bids for attention”, “fact tennis” for arguments about who is right, and “rupture and repair”. The books mix explanation with exercises and questions for the reader, and she includes her own mistakes; she told The Guardian that early feedback showed her own anger towards her parents had leaked into the parenting book, so she rewrote it.
Her other writing has shaped the books. As an agony aunt for Red and The Observer she answered readers’ letters for years, and the 2023 book takes on the same everyday questions about love, conflict and loss. Her first novel moves the same material into crime fiction, with a psychotherapist as the detective.
Watch
Philippa Perry on The Book You Wish Your Parents Had Read
In this Waterstones interview, psychotherapist Philippa Perry talks about The Book You Wish Your Parents Had Read, why raising children is not a project, why adults should look back at their own childhoods, and why children need time. Posted in April 2019. From the official Waterstones channel.
Frequently asked questions about Philippa Perry’s books
How many books has Philippa Perry written?
Five: Couch Fiction (2010), How to Stay Sane (2012), The Book You Wish Your Parents Had Read (2019), The Book You Want Everyone You Love to Read (2023) and the novel Shrink Solves Murder (2026).
What are Philippa Perry’s books in order?
Couch Fiction (2010), How to Stay Sane (2012), The Book You Wish Your Parents Had Read (2019), The Book You Want Everyone You Love to Read (2023) and Shrink Solves Murder (2026).
Where should I start with Philippa Perry?
The Book You Wish Your Parents Had Read. It is useful whether or not you have children, because much of it is about how your own upbringing shaped you. If you would rather see therapy itself, start with Couch Fiction.
What is Philippa Perry’s most famous book?
The Book You Wish Your Parents Had Read (and Your Children Will Be Glad That You Did), published by Penguin Life in 2019. It was an instant Sunday Times bestseller, and the publisher reports more than 1.3 million copies sold worldwide.
Is The Book You Wish Your Parents Had Read only for parents?
No. It is written for parents, but much of it is about understanding your own childhood and how it affects your relationships now. Her 2023 book, The Book You Want Everyone You Love to Read, applies the same ideas to partners, friends, family and colleagues.
Is Philippa Perry married to Grayson Perry?
Yes. She is married to the artist Grayson Perry, and the two co-presented Grayson’s Art Club on Channel 4 from 2020. Their daughter, Flo Perry, was born in 1992.
Has Philippa Perry written fiction?
Yes. Couch Fiction (2010) is a graphic novel about a course of therapy, and Shrink Solves Murder (2026) is a crime novel in which a psychotherapist, Pat Phillips, investigates the death of one of her clients near Beachy Head.
Is Philippa Perry a qualified psychotherapist?
Yes. She volunteered with the Samaritans from 1985, then trained as a psychotherapist, and worked in mental health for about twenty years, ten of them in private practice, before her first book. She is a member of the UK Association of Humanistic Psychology Practitioners.
Does Philippa Perry write an advice column?
She has been an agony aunt for Red magazine since 2013 and wrote the advice column in The Observer until 2025, when the paper was sold to Tortoise Media; she then moved to the online publication The Nerve.
What is How to Stay Sane about?
It is a short School of Life book that names four things people who stay sane learn to do: observe themselves, relate to others, deal with stress, and revise the stories they tell about their lives. The book includes practical exercises.
Footnotes
- Philippa Perry — Wikipedia
- The Book You Wish Your Parents Had Read — Penguin Random House
- Philippa Perry’s wise and tender advice for the modern parent — New Statesman, 2019
- Couch Fiction — Psychotherapy.net
- How to Stay Sane — Publishers Weekly
- Shrink Solves Murder — Penguin Australia
Bibliography last verified 9 October 2026. Where sources give different first-publication years, this page uses the year in library catalogues or the publisher’s own record.
This list was not put together by a machine.
The notes are all mine,
and the books are all his.
Lisanne x
Written by Lisanne Swart, who has curated reading lists and author guides at lisanneswart.com since 2021.
See more on her personal bookshelf.
“Relationships are often about rupture and repair, and we have very much repaired.”
— Philippa Perry, interview with Hadley Freeman, The Guardian (2020)
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