The Delayed Marshmallow

The Hotpot | December 2025 | By Lisanne

19.12

In the 1960s, a Stanford psychologist put a marshmallow in front of a 4-year-old.

“Wait 15 minutes, and you’ll get a second one. Eat it now, and that’s it.”

Some kids couldn’t wait. Others squirmed, battled temptation… and some waited.

Decades later, turned out the kids who waited scored higher on tests, had better stress tolerance, and found conventional success in life more often.

One could conclude that it was a matter of willpower. But that story is incomplete:

A follow-up study found it was trust. Kids who learned that adults kept their promises could afford to wait. Kids who learned the world was unpredictable couldn’t risk it.

Delayed gratification isn’t just about willpower. It’s also about whether you trust the future version of your life to show up.

Every meaningful milestone asks the same question:
Do you choose the harder path now for a bigger payoff tomorrow?

And if trust plays a role—
can it be built?

Start small.
Keep promises to yourself. Repeat.
Delay gratification. Build discipline. Watch what happens.

Thank you for reading. The journal prompt of today:

What’s one small promise you could keep today to strengthen that trust?

Curious to see more reflections like this? Click through to see the rest of the series on emotional competency. I’d love to hear what resonates with you.