I’ve also learned how to deal with gossip in my life. I met my boyfriend in my own house. He was my roommate and we lived with many others. One of the biggest struggles for me was that I had to figure out what it was we shared, while there were others who wanted to label it as such.
Gossip is from all times
Whether you’re in high school or later in your life. There will always be people who are going to judge. Whether this judgement is positive or negative, with that label people put you in a box.
As a result of people putting you in a box, it can leave you with confusion. Even little and short sayings can disrupt you. In the worst case you can start to believe those gossip.
And although we all know we have to let it go, we sometimes do it ourselves or find it difficult to actually let it go.
Hell yeah, Dr. Phil has something…
I watched this Youtube-interview between Dr. Phil and Sophie Turner. You can know her from Game of Thrones. They had a chat about her mental health problems and how to create meaning to suffering.
Until Dr. Phil came up with something that I found very meaningful to share with you. He said:
When someone spreads lies about you… It’s not about you. Ever. Gossip, whether in the form of a rumour that’s sweaping the nation or a gripe-session between friends, reflects the insecurity of the person(s) who initiated… And mostly when we are making statements behind their backs, we want to feel powerful.
In some way we feel powerless, unworthy, etc. Hurtful words, whether to ourselves or to others… sends the message we cannot be trusted. Gossip means we haven’t embolden’t ourselves to talk directly to the people we take issue with. So what you do: you belittle them.
I love this.
I mean, it’s so easy to caught up in rumor mills, to worry about this person’s perception of you or what someone might say or write about you. It’s easy to become defensive and petty and to want to lash out when you feel you’re being unfairly misrepresented.
As much as I try to see gossip as a test of my temperament, I can’t let the negativity being expressed by people who know little about me affect the way I feel about myself.
Along the way, through strong self-discipline and feeling strenghtened by the people around me that I have to recognize gossip for what it is – that it has no bearing on who you are most of the times – and put it in its proper place.
So tell me, what do you think of these words? Do you think they are inspirational? And how do you deal with gossip yourself?
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